Caution: I'm A Boozer
by PerfectCell17
Summary: Captain Matthews' drunk antics turn into a confession of love... chaosxMatthews


_Caution: I'm A Boozer. Banzai! Banzai!_

The rather odd and very original slogan printed across Captain Matthews' ever trusty, and ever accompanying hat. A slogan that all of the members of the Elsa's small crew knew was all too fitting for their captain. chaos knowing above all just how suiting it was.

Every Saturday night, when the crew had finished a long week of salvaging remnants of ships -- which usually just ended up with them somehow becoming even deeper in debt -- they would just relax, and take it easy with a few drinks. Which, of course, would lead to the inevitable, them getting drunk. Well, Tony, Hammer, and Matthews, anyway. chaos was never one to drink, and since he wasn't, that put him in the role of making sure that none of them; a) Did anything they would regret the next morning, b) Took off any of their clothing, or c) Passed out in rather compromising positions, in rather compromising parts of the ship with eachother. All three of those things had been known to happen surprisingly frequently before chaos stepped up to look after them.

The automatic door leading to the Elsa's restaurant and bar slid open, and chaos stepped inside. His eyes scanned over them room, and he shook his head in exasperation at what he saw. The same basic thing he saw every week; Tony and Hammer passed out next to eachother in one of the restaurant's vasious booths, Hammer lightly drooling on Tony's shoulder. Then there was Matthews, who was sitting across from them, still talking and carrying on conversation with them. Or atleast trying to. He obviously wasn't getting very far.

chaos made his way over to the booth to get started with what had become his usual routine; Carrying Hammer and Tony to their bunks, followed by trying to convince the captain why he should stop drinking and go to bed himself. A process that could easily take him hours to do.

"Hey, it's chaos!" Matthews greeted happily, his words coming out slurred. "Now I finally have someone to talk to! Those bastards won't answer me back!" Matthews motioned to the two men across him him with the back of his hand.

"...That's because they're asleep, captain." chaos answered with a smile, stifling the chuckle he felt in his throat.

Matthews slapped his hand down on the table's surface and laughed, "Well, why didn't they say so?! I would've woken them up!"

chaos couldn't help but shake his head again at the other man's logic. "I think you should just let them sleep for now... Just as you should probably do."

Matthews grasped the mug setting closest to him, and chugged down the rest of it's contents, before slamming it back down onto the table. "Nonsense! The night's still young! There's plenty of drinking left to do! Now, get me another beer!"

Ignoring Matthews' demands, chaos continued with trying to presuade him. "But we have to report to Little Master early tomorrow, remember?"

"...Who?" Was Matthews' simple response.

"Our boss."

The older man nodded in a mix of understanding and enlightenment. "Oh yeah... The little red-head! He's a good guy... His gun obsession's a little weird, though. I wonder if he's trying to compensate for anything..."

"I wouldn't know." chaos interrupted the drunken rant before it could progress any further. He reached down, and gently grabbed onto the top of Matthews' arm. "Come on... If you go to bed now, I'll listen to you talk about Little Master all you want tomorrow."

Matthews took the bait, and nodded eagerly. "I guess... But you better listen, 'cause I have alot to say about him!"

chaos vaguely wondered exactly what the captain had to say about Jr., and whether that would change once he was sober. He knew it didnt matter either way, though; Matthews would never remember this in the morning. Or atleast, he hoped the captain wouldn't remember in the morning. Tugging lightly on Matthews' arm, chaos sighed in great relief when the man actually began to stand up.

With his steps as impaired as his voice, Matthews managed to wobble over to chaos, and put his arm over the boy's shoulder for support. Slowly, the two headed out of the restaurant, and toward Matthews' bunk.

Most of the walk was in silence; With chaos praying the captain wouldn't pass out before they reached their destination, and Matthews... Well, God only knows what was going on in his mind. It wasn't until the duo approached the door of the the first section of bunks that the man finally spoke. His tone was happily, and his words were still jumbled. "You're actually kinda cute, you know that?" Matthews tightened his embrace around chaos' shoulders.

chaos chose not to comment on the captain's words, and instead, focus on their walking. He had learned long ago, from their previous experiences, that no matter how he responded, it would only encourage the captain to continue.

Hell, apparently even being ignored was still encouraging enough for him to go on. "You really are; Especially in those short shorts of yours!"

chaos could feel his face begin to heat up, and he was certain that it was showing in his complexion. He just hoped that the captain was too drunk to notice. Making a quick mental note to find more suitable bottoms before next Saturday, chaos slid his shoulders out of Matthews' grasp. "We're here... Try to get some sleep."

Matthews let himself flop lazily back onto his bed, and smiled widely at the person who had brought him here. "I love you, chaos!"

chaos smirked. "Good night, captain."

After returning Hammer and Tony peacefully to their beds, chaos was happy to just be able to retire himself to his own. He always found Saturday nights to be quite mentally exhausting, for very obvious reasons, and tonight was no exception. He was grateful that it atleast didn't take him as long as it potentially could have to get the crew settled down for the night. Not that chaos minded. Not at all. He was more than happy to help out the others... Even if it was only something as trivial as making sure they didn't embarass themselves while under the influence.

Kicking off his boots, chaos lowered himself down on the edge of his bed. He leaned back with his arms behind him, and used his palms to support himself.

_Why do people bother drinking? _chaos couldn't help but muse about that question every week, and every week he was unable to come up with an answer. He just didn't didn't understand it. From what he had witnessed with Matthews, it only caused people to lose their sense of logic, and say things that they would never normally say.

_"You're actually kinda cute, you know that?"_

_"You really are; Especially in those short shorts of yours!"_

_"I love you, chaos!"_

Just thinking about what the captain had said was enough for chaos' face to illuminate again. Even though Matthews made those type of comments every week, they never failed to impact the boy just as much; In both positive and negative ways. As much as he would never like to admit it, chaos didn't really mind those comments anymore. In fact, he had actually grown to like them. On the other hand, he know that they were only an excess consumption of alcohol speaking. He knew the captain would never actually mean them. That was the only negative side.

Matthews groggily opened his eyes, blinking a few times before they were able to settle in on anything. The clock was the first thing he could make out clearly, as it's neon green numbers cut through the darkness in his bunk. It was still early. 0645 hours. Well before he usually rose. Hell, it was even well before chaos awoke, and he got up the earliest on the ship.

As soon as the younger boy's name crossed his mind, a vague and distant image of chaos materialized in his head; chaos standing next to him, supporting him, helping him walk. But where were these images coming from? They seemed so familiar, but also so far away; Like a vivid dream, or a blurry memory.

Knowing his thoughts wouldn't allow him to go back to sleep, the captain slowly sat up,only to be greeted with a throbbing pain from the side of his head. The all too familiar headache that he awoke with every Sunday morning, when he woke up without a single recollection of what happened the previous night. All he knew was the he always started drinking in the restaurant, and somehow found his way back to his bed throughout the course of the night.

That image of chaos walking with him popped back into Matthews' mind. Is that what chaos was doing, making sure he got to bed alright? Looking after him? The captain smiled at that thought; chaos was so selfless and caring, and had never once complained about anything he had done for Matthews, or anyone else on the Elsa.

_"You're actually kinda cute, you know that?"_

Matthews heard his own voice echo in his head, next to the previous night's memory. Did he actually say that? Aloud? To chaos? The very idea of that flushed Matthews' cheeks, and he slid back down into his bed.

_I guess it's true... I guess people are more apt to say how they really feel when they're drunk. _Matthews mused darkly in embarassment, as he heard more of the night's dialogue play over in his head. He had meant every word he could remember saying, but that's not the way he ever wanted to tell chaos. Hell, he wasn't even sure _if _he ever wanted to tell chaos. Now it really wasn't much of a choice; He could either just let chaos assume that it was the alcohol talking, or he could tell the boy the right way. Matthew chose the latter. And he had the perfect idea on how to go about it.

Another week quickly ticked by, and before anyone knew it, Saturday evening was upon them once again. Only, something seemed different about this particular Saturday. It seemed too quiet, and too clam. It was almost unnerving. Atleast, that's how chaos felt, anyway, as he made his way to the restaurant to get his routine started once again. A little earlier than usual, too, but they had to get up early the next morning to report to Little Master.

chaos smiled to himself. Saying they had a meeting with Jr. was usually a sure-fire way to convince Matthews to call it a night, especially because the captain was always too intoxicated to know that they had never once reported to Rubedo on a Sunday. Sure, chaos did feel guilty about being deceptive, but he was only doing so to look after Matthews, so he was able to feel justified.

The door soundless slilding open before him, chaos' feeling of uneasiness was confirmed when the restaurant barren. All of the booths lining the walls were empty. Not to mention mute, with the only sounds being heard from the bartending robot fiddling around with random things.

"Huh? Where's the captain and the others?" chaos let himself wonder aloud, taking a few paces inside to get a better look around. When he still didn't see any of the crew, chaos blinked in confusion. In all of the time he had been aboard the Elsa, this was the only Saturday night he could remember the bar being empty.

"Heh, you're actually kinda cute, you know that?" chaos heard those words come from behind him, and he whipped his head around to see the captain standing in the doorway. The older man was grinning, and appeared to be in complete control of his speech and actions, meaning that he was sober.

"You really are; Especially in those short shorts of yours." Matthews repeated another line from what he had remembered saying, despite the embarassment he felt for saying something like that. His grin couldn't help but widen when he saw chaos' cheeks light up as he finished his sentence.

"C-Captain...?" That was the only word that chaos could get to escape his mouth, and even that came out rather strained. His mind was far too preoccupied trying to comprehend the current situation to form a real response.

It was a rare sight to see; chaos showing an emotion other than his usual calm happiness. He was showing a vulnerability that the captain hadn't previously known existed, and he didn't want to miss this oppurtunity to see more of it. He wanted to see what chaos was really like under that tranquil demeanor.

Closing the space between himself and chaos with a few quick steps, Matthews placed a hand on the younger boy's shoulder, and looked down into his exposed cerulean eyes.

choas stared back, delving for answers in the brown pools he seemed to have lost himself in. Nothing else around seemed to matter, and nothing else even seemed to exist, until a new sensation snapped him back to reality. The sensation that made his face burn and his heart flutter. The sensation of Matthews' lips pressed against his.

As quickly and unexpectedly as it came, the kiss was broken by Matthews. "I love you, chaos." The captain repeated the last words he could remember himself saying, only this time, he really meant to say them.


End file.
